Monday, January 30, 2012


So there I was Saturday night, taking a break from my usual hectic schedule of squiring HRH The Kone around to meet with all the celebrities, heads of state, and other hangers-on that clamor to meet him on a regular basis. And of course I was eagerly waiting for the announcement of what this year's RAGBRAI route would be. Would it be insanely hilly? More endless riding amidst the cornfields (a given) and the mountains that Iowa is purported NOT to have?

Imagine my delight when the new route was posted, and it turned out to be one that would bypass the so-called boring parts of Iowa. Or as the article put it:

"RAGBRAI, which has given thousands of bikers the opportunity to piss in area residents’ yards and disrupt traffic for over thirty years, has long been criticized for its over-emphasis on farmland and other lame Iowa shit. With 2012’s incarnation of the annual event, though, officials have managed to minimize the time spent in Iowa."

Behold, the new route:

Yes, pretty much bypassing Iowa entirely! Such brilliance!

(For the record, let me state that I LOVED biking through Iowa, in spite of the 120 degree temps. Cornfields, small towns, wonderful people - can't wait to go back.)

Now, the best part of this article were the comments people made. To wit (names redacted to protect the innocent):

  1. Edmond says:

    Is this the first time the ride will go out of state? I thought it is GBR Across IOWA!

  2. Margaret says:

    Let’s keep the money in Iowa. It has always been a ride across Iowa so let’s keep it that way.

  3. Skip says:


    Skip, Iowa City

  4. Rachel says:

    RAGBRAI is the “Great Bike Ride ACROSS Iowa” so why leave the state?? If we leave the state, this may give people a reason NOT to do it……

  5. An Iowan @ Heart says:

    I agree with all of the people above who say the ride should be across IOWA…this has to be a joke.

Now I have to say, this type of thing just makes me love Iowans even more. Not only do they immediately come to the defense of the beloved RAGBRAI, but they also believe the printed word. It's not just them - after I posted the above on Facebook, one local friend did ask if it was true, and her husband noted that "RAGBRAI has to be in Iowa, otherwise it doesn't make sense!"

Umm, yes.

So, look for me this summer toodling across parts of Iowa - small parts, according to the above map - and I'll be the one with deeds to bridges to sell the locals folks. Though hell, who am I to talk? I'm the one who got more and more loaded down last year, buying every button, tchochke, and "I heart boobies" bracelet made by the local urchins. I think we know who the real smart people are here......