Mondays with Deanna

*By the way, it has come to my attention that some people think I’m being “mean to Deanna” in my blog, and all I can say in response is this: my role here is merely that of a scribe, relaying situations exactly as they occur. Or how I remember them. One of those.

So, I decide to give Deanna a call to see how her race yesterday went. The kid’s been training her heart out, and I’m hoping she did well at the Racine ½.

Me: "Hey, how’d it go? Did you do well?"
Deanna: "Yeah, I suppose. My time was 6:05."
Me: "That’s awesome – good job! That was my prediction for you – and that’s faster than your goal time, right?"
Deanna: "Yes, though I hated the bike. My run rocked though."
Me: "Way cool. I’m glad you did well. Umm......did you get an award?"
Deanna: "What? No, I didn’t get an award. What are you talking about?"
Me: "Well, I won 4th in my age group at Evergreen Lake on Saturday, so I was hoping you were perhaps also in the upper echelon like myself."
Deanna: "I did a half-ironman, you did the sprint!"
Me: "I know, I didn’t want to bring it up but........I mean, everyone knows that the shorter distances are a LOT harder than long course, where you can lollygag along for hours and hours.
Deanna: "Wha..."
Me: "That’s why I chose to do the sprint on Saturday – so that I could really push myself. But, it’s great that you chose to take it easy on yourself with a half. Really!"
Deanna, sounding like she’s speaking through clenched teeth for some reason: "You did the sprint because you’ve forgotten how to SWIM, you jacka......"
Me: "It’s a beautiful thing, winning awards for your athletic achievements. Yep, I’m sure those age group awards will just be piling up now."
Deanna: "There were FIVE people in your age group!"
Me: "I believe it was 8, but who’s counting? What relevance are numbers, anyway? Unless it’s the number 4, or 4th. That’s a beautiful number. Say, I’d be happy to help you tweak your plan," I say, magnanimously.
Deanna: "Twea......YOUR plan consists of breathing deeply and striding briskly around your HOUSE!"
Me: "I know, isn’t it great? It’s all about efficiency," I add.
Deanna: "Effi.....I......you........"
(Deanna seems overcome by emotion, probably choked up at my generous offer to help her out – but I don’t even think about such things, it’s just how I am.)
Me: "So what do you think? If you train hard enough, and I help you out, then maybe, just maybe you too can work your way up to a sprint. How abou......hello? Hello?"

Hmm. I’ve heard of such things – people losing their friends as they climb the pinnacle to success, but I never thought it would be a problem with Deanna. I’m determined, however, to not let jealousy get in the way of our friendship. Courage.