So here on my little Blog That’s Sweeping The Nation, I have a stat counter thingie that I can look at to see where my eighteens of fans are coming from. And there are all sorts of interesting doohicky gadgets and stats that I can look at, which I usually don’t bother with, because to me, well, it’s all about volume. Bring ‘em in, move ‘em out, that’s what I always say. Or something like that.
But once in a while I like to know what brings you all, the little people, to my esteemed blog. Is it a search for “triathlon goddess”? For “triathlon training tips to bring one to the peak of physical perfection”? For advice on “how to become practically perfect in every way like Miss Tasha who I’ve heard so much about”?
Shocking as it may be to hear this, the answer to that would be no. A resounding no.
Because the most popular keyword search that brings people here?
Yes, pattypan squash. Apparently my one-time ode to my little pattypan squash at my Skokie garden plot – and the wailing and anguish that ensued when some cretin STOLE one of said squashes – is bringing people here in droves. I kid you not – it’s not as if pattypan squash slightly ekes out the contenders. Oh no. 20% of people who land here come by way of those precious little squash. Everything else, like “Cheez-its” or “dumbass award” or “everything’s fun and games until the flying monkeys attack” – are all just distant runners-up.
Who knew? Who knew there was an underground wellspring of pattypan squash devotees? Sometimes, even I don’t know what to say about such things.