Saturday, June 7, 2014

Floating on

Far be it from me to be one of those annoying bloggers who comes out with a monumental-ish, revealing post….and then disappears. Today is my birthday, so it seems as appropriate a day as any to talk about how I got to this point with my life not where I want it to be.

Having said that, it was a fucking awesome birthday, with well wishes from around the globe, the usual invite to tea with the Queen, telegrams and packages, and so on. Let it never be said that I scoff at any celebration of me just being my general awesome self.

But to update: nothing else has happened. Not surprisingly, with these things one has to wait until certain tests can be done, so that’s what I’m waiting for, and that should be next week. At which point I’ll go back to ORM for the FSH test and an antral follicle test, which is kind of the make or break one,  as that shows you how many potential eggs you have that can be harvested for an IVF cycle. That test scares the shit out of me, because if it’s bad, well, there go a lot of my options. So that could be an ugly day. A day to drink ALL the liqueurs.

A very very ugly day.

The only glimmer of hope that I stubbornly cling to is the fact of my rocks$tar AMH result of 2.94 (AMH is the new FSH), which was pass-around-the-office-worthy according to Dr. Barbieri.  Yay me and my Ukrainian ovaries! But just that fact isn’t enough – that’s kind of the lowest common denominator, really. If that had sucked, well, it would have been Dirty Sock and Zen, where one kind of gives up all hope. Even though it’s good, there are still a LOT of hurdles to clear, so….we’ll see.

 One thing all of this has shown me is just how many friends of mine have dealt with fertility issues. Sure, there are the ones I know about, and with my Cancerchicks it’s pretty much de rigeur – but there are a lot of other friends where I just assumed they didn’t want kids, when the reality is, they’ve found themselves in situations like mine, or having other issues to deal with. I guess that’s a good reason to not assume anything, about anyone’s situation, ever.

My other public service announcement is something that I preface by saying that if you think this is about you and something you said to me, it’s not, and you don’t need to apologize. This is a general point, because I see it all the time, anywhere there’s a discussion about someone trying to have a child via assisted means, let’s call it. And my point is this: the people saying I should adopt because why waste money on these treatments when there are so many unwanted kids out there? Yeah, not helpful. Unless this is your thing in general and you say this to everyone who ever says they want kids, in some Doomsday prepper belief that no new children should be brought into this world. Otherwise, no.

I’ll leave out any mention of how freaking hard it is to adopt and how expensive and how lengthy of a process it is, because my real point is this: no matter how things turn out, I have as much right to at least try to have a biological child as anyone else. Period.

Speaking of kids, I was at Trader Joe’s the other day buying stuff for tomorrow’s par-tay, and of course got to chatting with Checkout Guy (even though I hate people, as a general rule), after he asked me what was new.  

Me: Well, I’m having a par-tay this weekend to celebrate The Manor. Here, let me show you a picture….  
CG: Ooh, picture swapping. Let me show YOU a picture of me and my nephew!  
Me: Dueling pics – you’re on! Oh…that’s a really cute baby.
CG, smugly: Yeah, setting the bar pretty high, aren’t I? Let’s see your…..oh, that’s a gorgeous house.

Us, in unison: Tie.

Then we somehow got to discussing the dilemma that one has when there’s an ugly baby at hand. I mean, what do you say? And no, not all babies are cute, let’s face it. Even my neighbor and I talked about this potential issue, but luckily her newborn is adorable and looks like Prince George, so they got lucky. Other times, when there's a gremlin-resembling urchin?

Some suggestions:

"Wow, now THAT'S a baby!"
"Congrats, so exciting!"
"Baby looks so happy!"

 Thankfully, this is often only temporary, as many times UnfortunateBaby will start to look much cuter, and then one can offer up honest sentiments. Until then, we do what we must.

Never let it be said that I am not one to proffer useful advice. Hell, I generally have so much, I could pass it out like cheap party favors.....


Anonymous said...

eff a bunch of bad test, get knocked up, because you're going to be a GREAT MOM to a human child

Anonymous said...

Miss Tasha, how about a positive attitude, like when you sign up for a run, or bike race and sit back, eat crap and don't train and poof you do it. It tests are negative there is always adoption correct? You will be providing a needy child with all you have and that is a lot, it might be too much.

Also what do you think Kona will say?