The Triple C

mid-May

Finally the time had come – 2 weeks before the dreaded Triple T, and it was time to put my master plan into action. You see, having diligently read and internalized The Art of War, I’ve subsequently integrated all of the principles of Sun Tzu into every aspect of my life, just as we were taught at Wharton. Now it was time to put those same principles into use, as I was about to call Deanna and tell her that I couldn’t do the TTT, all as part of my grand master plan to “lull (her) into a false sense of security, so as to fool the enemy.” Oh, I knew Deanna would cry and wail and gnash her teeth, as is her way, but I was ready for any and all of Deanna’s protestations, and had all the tactics I’d certainly need to wear her down.

Plus, there was a very good possibility I’d die out there, and I knew Deanna would be extremely devastated and heartbroken by my untimely demise.......especially when she realized that it would mean she no longer had a place to stay for the Dairyland Dare. So given these two elements, I placed my call:

Me: "Hey, Deanna, how goes it? Say, I have to talk to you about the Triple T."
Deanna: "Oh, okay, not a problem at all, that’s okay!"
Me, pausing: ".......I haven’t said anything yet."
Deanna: "Oh, right. So what’s up?"
Me: "Well, I thi......"
Deanna, interrupting: "Cool! Really, that’s totally fine!"
Me: "COULD YOU SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH??"
Deanna: "Geez, you don’t have to get so snippy."
Me: "Anyway." (blurting out) "Ican’tdotheTripleTI’mreallysorryIsuckbutIthinkitjustmightkillme...."
Deanna: "Okay, cool. That’s totally fine!"
Me: "But I feel really bad about it – I don’t want to leave you teamless. I already emailed the Triple T people to see if I could transfer my spot if I find another craz....I mean, another uber-athletic person like yourself. And I’m sure I can find someone for the cabi....."
Deanna: "Really, it’s totally fine, I’ll manage! I’m (sniffle) tough! Say, that’s my other line ringing, I’ll call you back."

(phone rings, 2 minutes later)

Deanna: "Wow, what an amazing coincidence! I just randomly happened to get a call from someone who wants your Triple T slot, so I’m all set! Funny how that all worked out, huh?"

Methinks......I was just out-Tsu’d.

So, with the Triple T plan set into place, and Deanna secure in her erroneous thinking that I had chickened out, I was now free to take on the Triple C: Colleen’s Climbing Craziness. Or 3 days of riding in the hills around Blue Mounds State Park, which have spawned rides such as the Horribly Hilly Hundreds and the aforementioned Dairyland Dare. In other words, “fun” galore. My plan: get up super early Saturday morning, plant stuff at home, drop off plants at my mom’s and 2 places in Wisconsin, then make it to Blue Mounds in time for our noon group ride. Not a problem.

Friday night

I’m up until 1AM finding camping stuff and packing. How the hell could I possibly need so much stuff for just a weekend? No matter. Who needs sleep?

Saturday morning, 5AM

After getting up at the crack of dark and slugging down some coffee, I’m outside to dig and plant, dig and dig and.....hmm, maybe a small break would be in order. (hour passes) Yawn – why the hell do I persist in growing so many heirloom tomato plant varieties year after year, when the damn squirrels just eat everything anyway? I’m either really optimistic or really stupid. No, don’t answer that.

I keep calculating the absolute last time I need to leave in order to make it up to Blue Mounds in time to ride at noon, and I can feel my blood pressure rising because I’m stressed out. Just before my heart jumps out of my chest and goes to hide under a bushel, I realize that this is ridiculous – it’s a holiday weekend, it’s supposed to be fun and relaxing, and I’m a stressbunny. This seems to be getting to be a common theme. I call Colleen and tell them that I won’t make it up there by noon, but I’ll meet up with them somewhere on the Madison loop, which is the ride on today’s agenda. Okay, onward!

9AM

Okay, so I can still drop off plants at my mom’s, drop off the other plants on my way to Blue Mounds, and still get in a good ride. I’ll be up there by 1 at the latest, in and out at my mom’s, no problem.

11:30AM

I’ve just left my mom’s, after getting a tour of her garden and being given stuff to drop off at my brother’s – the one who’s taken over the family summer home in Lake Delavan. Sigh. Still, I’m determined to get that ride in today, dammit. I stop by Ann and Bob’s to drop off their tomato plants and of course have to chat with Ann, since it would be rude to just dash off. I then go a few blocks to the other end of the channel to drop off my brother’s stuff.....and he’s fishing off the pier, and has just “a couple of things” he wants me to help him with. Sigh again. Plus, the fishing pole is beckoning, and there are fish clearly visible in the water, which means of course they won’t be biting, but still........

12:30PM

Okay, it certainly won’t take me very long to get to Monroe/Browntown to drop off the plants at my friend’s B&B in cow country, right?

2PM

Who the hell designed Wisconsin roads anyway? Oh, I know they’re completely nonsensical from my long rides last year, when I’d be biking in WI and suddenly wind up in Harvard, IL......but this is a bit ridiculous.

3PM

I drop off the plants, have homemade muffins foisted on me, get a quick tour of their garden, and now......I can still get up there for a ride.......except I think I’m still about 60 miles away from Blue Mounds, on these damn WI roads. I think....it’s time to go Zen. Yes, just accept that the ride isn’t happening today, don’t stress out about it, and enjoy the scenery. Right after I decide this, I see a sign that proclaims this to be “Cheese Country!”, so of course, as required, I stop to buy cheese at the first opportunity. Then another sign informs me that I’m traveling on “The Wisconsin Cheese Trail,” and now I truly feel a kinship with the pioneers of the days of yore, as they went from burg to burg plying their cheese trade. This is like the Appalachian Trail, but better. I see a book in my future - A Drive Through Dairy: one woman’s quest to drive the entire Cheese Trail, and the adventures therein. A potential best-seller, to be sure.

5PM

Finally, I arrive. Could someone please tell me how the hell it took me 8 HOURS to go from Chicago to Blue Mounds?? I’m starting to see part of my problem here, that maybe I need to maintain a bit more focus at times. Nah.

Tomorrow though, the, umm, Double C! We’ll be doing part of the Dairyland Dare route, and if that doesn’t just scream “fun!”, then........