“oh please.......get out and run, swim or bike.......no wonder you can't improve on your PR. I want trinews not some wimpy story on the dog.”
Now, normally I would dismiss such frippery, thinking “buck up there, kiddo, I won’t always be around to tell you what to do and how to train.” But there was something about this plea, perhaps the hint of sheer desperation, the clea
r subtext of “please, PLEASE, for the love of god, give us some of your triathlon wisdom to go on! Something, anything! I’ve been sitting around eating Fritos, totally unable to train, because I’m like a babe in the woods without your guidance. Oh PLEASE, save me from myself! We’re dying out here!”I foolishly thought I had thrown out enough to get you young grasshoppers going on your way towards triathlon independence – what with the Thighmaster 30-day Plan, the pictures on how I have Salome set up with Dino in his aero position on the back, even the nutrition advice, for god’s sake! – but apparently there are some who need to suckle at the teat longer than most. Granted, they’re normally clad in purple and thus have their own coaches advising them on how to walk-stop-obstruct their way to a marathon finish – but for those without that safety net, I will say this: I am here for you.
So from now on, all of my blog entries will be couched in the form of “trinews” – and while you’ll still have to do the work yourself, I’ll strive to give you enough to go on, to haul yourself out of your sloth and ineptitude, to get off the couch BEFORE we have to call Geraldo or Jerry in to cut a hole in the wall to get you out. I know you’re on the edge there, gentle reader, and to this I say: courage. Courage, my friend, help is on the way.
9 comments:
Tasha, if you really listen to the "anonymous" poster (who I'm not 100% convinced isn't you :P) then I will be highly disappointed. Some of us have been loyal followers for some time now and have gone to great lengths to ensure your Ironman journey, ahem, is the best it can be. What has Anonymous done for you lately?
I, for one, don't want to hear about any more god damn swim, bike, run. And holy hell, WHY did you have to bring that picture back into rotation?
Ah, don't worry D!, there'll be something for everyone. In fact, I'm currently penning my next entry already: "Fresh from my victory at the Wisconsin State Fair, it became obvious that I needed to raise the stakes. Up my game. Go for the PR in state fairs, so to speak."
So a bit of fried food, food-on-a-stick, some pathos, and of course the usual tri tips sprinkled in. Everyone wins!
You certainly are "posty" lately. After seeing that picture I am now hungry for sausage. Perhaps Polska Kilbasa - I am not sure why. My wife has been making spaghetti all day. Hmmm, strange.
What can I say, sometimes the material just writes itself. Plus I'm trying to catch up - I still have the fair to write about! And Nipsey Russell! Ah, so much to write, so little time......
Now *I* want to cook up a Polish sausage. It's all your fault. Off to see what I have in the freezer.....
Does this person think you are a coach or something? Haha!
what do you say to a little meet-up in old Roscoe Village some sunny morning??
(i miss seeing you every day!)
.:.ellen.:.
oh god another boring lifeless posting blah, blah, blah. How about showing the the average tri athlete, not the paid ones.
lets here about your routine, the hard hours of riding, swimming and running, wait that is someone else and no it's not D, really how about the hard hours of stuffing yourself with crap food and the long hard walks you must have to the post office to send off your bills. You must require a nap when you get there to help make it back. Is that a snack in your back pocket, oh wait that's not a snack that's you, sorry
Hey Anonymous, I think if you're going to leave comments like that, you should have the balls to reveal your identity!
OK because I am completely disappointed by everything on TV right now, I was looking at old posts and I found LIBERACE!
You were the spitting f-ing image of the man, er man-ish type person, er ENTERTAINER. I am in even more awe of your dead-ambiguously-gay celebrity impersonation skillz. The only weak part was the hair, but Liberace had magical tresses that only come around once a millennia.
(Did I say ambiguously gay? I meant FLAMING!)
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