CACTASS is here.....

I’ve spent the summer on my bike. Riding those 1,200 or 1,300 miles or whatever the final total turned out to be, here in the IL/WI countryside, dodging idiot cars who decided to try passing around blind curves, or marveling at how every single truck that passed me – yes, every single one – gave me such a wide berth all summer. That in and of itself is a wonder.

And it’s been a hot, humid, windy summer, though I can’t complain about that, as it’s better than a cold one, like last year. I’ve met a lot of cool people along the way – Kelly in Sharon, WI, the neat guys at the Agonizing Perk bike/coffee shop near Madison, and of course my mom’s neighbors here at Sun City, who sure as hell do get up early for a bunch of retirees. Sheesh. Relax and sleep in a bit, would you all?

And because I go over a couple of overpasses over the interstate on my usual routes, I’ve been able to observe from my perch just how many lousy drivers there are out there. Slower drivers to the RIGHT, okay folks?

I've learned yet again just how great my friends are, for checking in with me to see how the training was going,

but understanding why I was hardly around all summer. Motya and Tessie, there are a couple of berets out there with your names on them!

I’ve discovered my mom is pretty cool to

hang out with, though she’ll be glad to see me and Kona out of here, so she can have her peace and quiet back.

I’ve discovered that if you eat enough of anything on the bike, you get sick of it. No matter how good those Clif Mojo bars are, the millionth one is just….too….much.

On one of my rides to and from WI, I stumbled upon a gorgeous old farmhouse, which serendipitously turned out to be for sale, and I envisioned my alternate life that it seemed fate was presenting me with, complete with hobby farm, my writing career, and MiracleFarmerChild to help me bring in the crops. Alas, when I finally saw the inside of the house, it was dilapidated and water-damaged and had a basement caked with mold. So clearly fate was just fucking with me, as usual. I’m still kind of bummed about this.

And after all this, I’m pretty sure I’m nowhere near ready to climb an Alp. Unless it’s a Baby Alp. They have those over there, don’t they? Since our home base is 10km up a mountain, maybe I can just do hill repeats on that, while everyone else is slogging up slightly more formidable mountains. We shall see.

But regardless, Alp top or no, I’m sure to have a great time with my most awesome friend Stacey – I can’t imagine doing a trip like this with anyone else. Though if she tells me I should have trained more, she may find herself rolling down an Alpian cliff, “accidentally” pushed by unseen hands. Because we all know where and how I’ve spent my entire summer.

Though I have to say, spending your summer on a bike trying to prepare for a Great Alpian Adventure, well, it’s a pretty good place to be.

And as always, I will report back…..