Friday, March 13, 2009

Me and Norm, like twins

So I traipse in to Starbucks yesterday, and I’m greeted by Diane right away.

Diane: Hey, there you are! I was just thinking about you!
Me: Good thoughts, I hope.
Diane: Oh, always. Hey Ellen, look who’s here!
Ellen: Tasha, there you are! I was wondering when you’d come in.

At this point it’s pretty clear that I’ve become the Norm of this particular Starbucks. Not that I mind – being greeted like a rockstar is something I’m accustomed to, naturally, but it’s also something I never get tired of.

And at least it’s better than being the hated customer, like the one they had earlier. Who threw a fit because they only had Sumatra and not Verona coffee (gasp!). So she started fussing, and then made one of the Starbucks crew CALL all the nearby stores to see if they had Verona. At which point me, personally, I would have told that lady that she needs to have some truly shitty things happen in her life, so that she has something real to bitch about. Not this coffee crap. Sumatra, Verona, WHO CARES?? Sheesh.

Anyway, speaking of bitching, today I had my follow-up appointments with Dr. Jeruss, the Most Amazing Breast Surgeon ever, and then a mammogram. Oh yay. My conclusions from today were as follows:

1) Mammograms indeed suck after you’ve had surgery on that side. Holy crap, that was painful.
2) No wonder everyone wants to have theirs done at the Prentice – that place is the very definition of hoity toity. My silly little robe actually came out of a WARMING OVEN, so it’d be nice and cozy when I put it on. Seriously.
3) Attempting to play doctor and interpret your own results is a BAD idea. Because the mind wonders and frets when you see words like “suspicious but probably benign.” I mean, you figure the results just look weird because of the surgery, but there’s no sense driving yourself nuts in the meantime, until your doctor confirms that yep, everything is indeed okay.
4) Dr. Jeruss thinks I’ll have smokin’ new boobage. No, really. Okay, so she didn’t use those words exactly - more like stuff about “perfect symmetry” and “great healing” and blah blah blah, but I knew what she meant: the killer rack. Sa-wheet! Because as I’ve said before, if you can’t come out of all of this with AT LEAST a great rack to show for it….then what’s the point? Why bother?

And to continue on an atypically chipper note.....I was just looking at our Team in Bacon page on Facebook (slogan: “Because there is meat in team!”), and noticed that there were pictures from the Cupcake Caper event. So I was looking through those, at all the people who showed up to ride and eat cupcakes on a beautiful sunny day along the lakefront in Chicago, all in support of, well, me....and I feel so unworthy. But grateful, that these are my friends, these amazing people who’ve been so wonderfully supportive, even when I’ve been a raving bitch lunatic, which has happened more often than I care to admit. I honestly can’t thank them enough – Deanna, Annette, Jillian, Bridget and Colleen, Kristen, all my other Tri Club friends, MLSFBF Kat, Motria, Laura, Susan, my brother Andrew, Keith aka "Fred", the great folks from Slowtwitch including my Team Xantusia buds, my Canadian friends Deirdre and George who are so quick with the entertaining emails, Stacey, YCBG Matt, Debbie, all the people who donated race entries for our TiB raffle, including Colleen Klein of Tri-Shark and Evergreen Lake fame, Paul from Running Away who donated about a billion entries to the many races he puts on, Stewart Schilling and his DAIRYLAND DARE (!) – you are all the best. I don’t deserve such great friends, but I’m glad to have them.

Speaking of the much vaunted Dairyland Dare, rumor has it that this year they're changing the slogan from “Saddle up for one rough ride! Yeehaw!” to “Gentle as a baby’s bottom, come lull yourself to tranquility! Nope, no ambulances here, no sirree!” or something along those lines. And I think they're even changing the name from the Dairyland Dare to the Dairyland Mosey-Along. But that could just be vicious rumor, so don’t quote me on that.


D said...

Funny, I was out with my dad tonight telling him about how you couldn't remember what hotel you were staying in. Then I thought, "you know, the old man would LOVE your blog". So I came home and sent him the link.
Little did I know that, 1. you would have a Cheers reference in the first post he would read (one of his favorite shows of all time), and 2. I would be mentioned in the post. Awww ;)

Well, I'm glad to hear your new boobs will be smokin. I'm planning on a fix post-IMC. Maybe if I can get myself some cancer then I can get the boobs done for free?

Missy said...

whats this about boob fund raising? Send me the link for your raffle and I'll post it too!

Ellen said...

if that lady comes in again, and you just so happen to be there, i'm going to point her in your direction and say, "You may go ask Tasha if she can call around the city like a cheap whore looking for Verona. She'll take care of it for you."

... maybe that's what I'll say if I ever quit, and it's one of my last days... and you just happen to be there, of course, to "take care of it."