So we all know that when I’ve made the bold step of actually taking Sálome anywhere, I’ve carefully wrapped her in bubblewrap, throws, and in other words have taken every precaution so as to not mar her Felt B12 perfection. In fact, dear MLSF* Kat is knitting a bike cozy for Sálome as we speak.
Imagine my shock and horror, then, when the following scenario unfolds. There I am, peeling the clear vinyl/plasticky stickers off Sálome, the ones that I assume are there to protect the bike in transit, but that no sane person would actually leave on the bike for the duration. I mean, then the bike wouldn’t be shiny smooth perfection, right? It’s not like they have any purpose, yes? And one of them is starting to peel off anyway – some miscreant at VQ even had the audacity to ask if my beloved bike was already cracked or scratched because he saw the outline of the sticker.
I’m carefully peeling off the last one on the fork, wearing magnifying lenses so that I can better
see what I’m doing, shining a Klieg light, making sure no one is near in order to avoid unnecessary jostling.......but what’s this? I peel it off, and THE SHINY GLOSS goes with it! I immediately fall into a faint (away from the bike, of course), but when I come to, it wasn’t all just a terrible nightmare, as there’s still this square ugly patch of bare paint. No gloss, no shine. I gaze at Sálome in a stupor for a while, asking the unanswerable questions. How could this happen? How? Why? Why me? WHY ME? WHY???So this is the horror I’ve been living with for the past week. I mention it to Deanna, who was also about to remove the stickers from her bike, but we decide that the stickers on her Mighty Cervelo were probably NOT put on by Oompa Loompas so hopped up on sugar that they accidentally glued them on instead. Plus she mentioned that since her special Cervelo stickers were probably engineered in the wind tunnel, she could rip them off willy-nilly and the bike would still emerge unscathed. Must be nice.
Finally, with this tale of horror weighing on me, causing lack of sleep, the jitters, etc. (though that might be the 3 gallons of espresso I’ve started drinking each day in hopes of revving up my metabolism), I decide to contact Dave, the FeltGuy who posts on Slowtwitch and who always seems so helpful. I explain my tale of woe, and get this response, within about 5 minutes I might add:
Tasha,
I'm sorry for your misfortune.
Those small clear vinyl decals are "bumpers" that protect the finish as those areas can be impacted by the frame, bars, or cable housing.
The frame has several layers of clear finish on it. If you are careful, some clear nail polish can tidy up any blemish, OR if you are handy, some Marine Epoxy used for repairing fiberglass hulls on boats can be used.
Best Regards,
I’m printing it here because I think it speaks to the great customer service at Felt. Seriously. Not only do I get an immediate response, but it’s so damn polite and nice, because now I’ll re-interpret it to reflect what he was probably really thinking:
Tasha,
I’m sorry for your misfortune. (Man, you have some crappy luck there, huh? Seriously, thousands of stickers on our bikes, and this never happens.)
Those small clear vinyl decals are “bumpers” that protect that finish as those areas can be impacted by the frame, bars, or cable housing. (okay Dave.....don’t say it......bite your tongue, bite, bite.....remember what we learned in that seminar, “Dealing with the Stupid Customer.” I mean really, you’d think it would occur to these dolts that those stickers are there for a
REASON, huh? Nah, that’s too logical. Damn fools and their shiny new bike obsession. Lord, give me strength...)The frame has several layers of clear finish on it. If you are careful, some clear nail polish can tidy up any blemish, OR if you are handy, some Marine Epoxy used for repairing fiberglass hulls on boats can be used. (However, since we live in the real world and we know that some of you whack jobs will take off the stickers anyway, potentially screw things up, and then have a coronary over some tiny blemish which won’t even matter in the grand scheme of things the first time you fall over in your pedals, we’ve come up with a solution. Happy? Ugh, why didn’t I take that job on the Alaskan fishing boat? Sure, I'd constantly be getting hit in the head by 100-lb halibut, but that would be better. Because you’re probably not all that handy, you’ll screw it up and then come back to me complaining that the patch is “too shiny.” In which case I’ll start poking my eye out with a spoon.)
Best regards, (please please please go away)
I also like how Dave used the “good communication” technique that we too learned at Wharton, where you start out nice/positive, smush the bad stuff in between, and then end on a positive note. Kind of like a bad news sandwich.
Me, of course I was all ready to pull out the Marine Epoxy and have at it, in hopes that I’d take care of things and could then sleep at night, but fortunately, I had a chance to talk to Kevin at GAG before I did that. I guess the fine boys at Get a Grip are used to me and my motto (“Doing the Stupid Things, so You Don’t Have To”), because he told me to bring Sálome on by the shop and he'd call YCBG Matt to let him know, so that he could take care of it. I shudder to think of how THAT conversation sounded – yes, I know I’m continually confirming my niche as the Pain-in-the-Ass customer. But at least I can rest easy now, knowing that my bike will be in good capable hands. Maybe I’ll bring the boys some brownies, while I’m at it. Nothing like sweetening the deal a little bit......or at least helping them overlook my sheer stupidity. I hope.
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