The Goal

The Goal is one of those eponymous books that makes the b-school rounds and is required reading, at least for a time, while it’s in style. When I was at Wharton, apparently what was in style was making us read books filled with feel-good, TQM, supply-chain efficiency rah-rah pablum, all about working together to eke out more efficiencies while doing jumping jacks and stretches first thing in the morning to techno-pop music. Or maybe that was only in Japan. Anyway. The only real takeaway from The Goal was that there’s a bottleneck in every crowd, and his name is Herbie - in this case Herbie was the fat kid on some hike slowing everyone down. So if you find yourself confronting an issue and you’re not sure how to get things moving again, first you need to ask yourself, out loud, “Where’s Herbie?” Then after you’ve withstood the resultant laughter from those around you, you can proceed to fire anyone named Herbie, or even similar. At least that’s what I got from reading The Goal.

What does this have to do with anything? Not a hell of a lot except that I was thinking about my quest for the maple-sausage scone and it made me think of The Goal, and the important things we learned at Wharton that I on occasion like to impart to you, dear reader (s). You just never know when these little nuggets of wisdom will come in handy, particularly in today’s lousy economy.

So, back to the damn scone. The rumor that it tasted like a McGriddle (which is the most heinous food substance known to man, technically speaking) didn’t deter me, as I didn’t think Kona would care about the association with the offending, treacherous pseudo-food. I was on a quest, dammit, and would not be swayed from my course. Thus began a journey of epic proportions, as I learned not only what I’m truly made of, but also a bit about what it takes to succeed under the most trying circumstances, the perseverance, the guts, the determination, the…….okay, that’s a bunch of crap. Actually, I just went to a different Starbucks about a block away, and lo and behold, they do carry the scone, though they were out that day. So my most trying maneuver involved going back the next day and finding a parking spot. As for the scone, Kona did enjoy it, but then he’s a dog and he eats sticks. And big chunks of ice that he finds outside. And he drinks from the birdbath. So I’m not sure I would call that a ringing endorsement. Plus in order to buy this scone I’d have to change my Starbucks habits, and I just don’t know if I can quit all my friends at the Roscoe Village store. So as much as it pains me to say it…….maple-sausage scone, we hardly knew ye…….

On a totally separate note, my friend Kristen from IDR relayed to me how she was reading with the tv on in the background, not really paying attention until she heard what sounded like “ass effects.” Ass effects? On tv? So she looked up, and there was a commercial for some drug called.........Aciphex. Aciphex. Now, come ON, people. Did not one of the non-Wharton MBAs whom you hired for big bucks to come up with a revolutionary and exciting name for this drug ever at some point SAY THIS OUT LOUD??? I just shake my head.