Friday, February 27, 2009

IronSpud Tip #1

Because I know that the vast majority of those who come here are looking for the training tips that will help them excel on their path to triathlon glory, I’ve decided that as I prepare for my next Ironman in June, with the usual grueling training regimen I’m known for, I’ll impart some “lessons learned” along the way. Some best practices, as we Whartonites say in the business world. Peeling back the onion a bit, as it were. Creating a strawma......oh, never mind that stuff. Where was I? Yes, Ironman tips. Without further ado, here’s Ironman Tip #1:

We all know that to sign up for an IM, you have to do so literally a year in advance, because they sell out so quickly. That’s why my dumbass self signed up for IronSpud last JUNE, what with my crystal ball neglecting to inform me that come August, I’d be progressing nicely towards becoming a sluggish, lumpen ball of fat, thanks to the cancer/collarbone surgeries that made any kind of oh, say, movement, rather difficult.

Anyway - the other thing about signing up for an IM is that you need to book your hotel room immediately, or the only thing left will be the Bates Motel clone 50 miles away. So here is my tip: when you booked that hotel, chances are you won’t have made the reservation online because it’s too early. So you’ve called to reserve and have written the info down on a scrap of paper somewhere. Great. Terrific. Just make sure that when you do that, you write on that piece of paper not just the relevant stuff like the dates, cost, and reservation number, but also minor details like, for example, the NAME OF THE HOTEL. Otherwise you’ll find yourself really sounding like a dumbass, calling random hotels asking if that’s where you have your reservation. Umm, not that I’m saying that I did that or anything. I’m just sayin’.

As far as training goes, I’m happy to note that I’ve found the perfect plan: 13 Weeks to a 13-hour Ironman. Oh sure, it presumes that one is already exercising like a fiend, but pshaw, clearly those caveats are for mere mortals, not triathlon goddesses such as myself. And since I’m the queen of ramping up, it really makes sense to follow a condensed plan such as this. So tough though it’ll be, I’m going to force myself to sit around and eat bonbons for the next 3 weeks, so that I truly follow the spirit of the plan as it was intended. That’s just the kind of person I am.

Oh, and a shoutout to my pals at my favorite Starbucks on Roscoe, where I’m well on the way to knowing the names of everyone who works there (hi Jesus! hi Ellen! hi Diane!). The other day I mentioned that I’d been writing about them on my blog, and lo and behold, Ellen found her way here. You know, Starbucks may be a huge corporate monolith and all, but the way they’ve managed to bring people together, why, that’s just bleeping golden, as we say here in Chicago. Kumbaya, anyone?

1 comment:

Javier said...

If you do lose the hotel name thing, there is always camping! Or do as my friend who parks his car at teh race site the night before and sleeps in the car. Despite teh sleep he still suffers from a bad back. Wonder why?