Sunday, November 22, 2009

Life's little puzzles

Now, as we all know, I tend to shy away from ever getting involved in anything political, or pretty much anything controversial entirely. Who needs that kind of stress? Not me, no sirree.

But sometimes, something comes along that, well, is just a little bit too hard to ignore. I’m talking, of course, about the flyer I received in the mail the other day for one Dan Farley, politician, running for State Representative of my district, apparently. The flyer has the usual mumbo-jumbo about all the committees he’s on and what he does for the community, and includes the requisite family picture.
Which I snickered at, a bit, since the dog is clearly staring at a biscuit being held just out of the frame. And then there’s the cute blonde child, and the typical wife....wait. The typical wife is wearing black, knee-high pleather dominatrix-style boots?? Umm, what? Shades of Jack Ryan and he and his wife’s sex club escapades perhaps?

Then on the other side of the flyer we have a picture of Dan with Forrest Claypool, a well-liked and respected Cook County Commissioner. But here Forrest is wearing a shiny, puffy blue shirt, looking for all the world like Brian Boitano. And below there’s one final picture of Dan talking to local police officers....who seem to be attired in full combat gear, flak jackets and all. Is there something going on in my neighborhood that I don’t know about, but should? Just wondering.

In other news, I regret having to report that ObamaCare is already taking its toll. Yes, it’s true. I tried calling the ophthalmologists I was referred to last week to see if I can figure out what’s going on with this blurry eye thing, and alas, just as the Canadians have to wait 6+ months for any type of health care, so too was I told that there were no appointments available before Tuesday, which is when I go out of town. That I’d have to wait until the end of December. That my brain tumor would grow unabated while I languish untreated in the world of government-run healthcare. Oh wait, that hasn’t started yet, has it? Never mind then.

So as my brain tumor and I settle in for the long haul, I did discover this gem of information, namely that FatSurly (Tamoxifen) can also cause......yes.......eye damage! Yep, all sorts of bad stuff, like retinal toxicity and macular degeneration and so on. This means that henceforth, FatSurly will be known as FatSurlyBlind. Talk about a catch, me and my bad self. When will the adulation ever end?


Accelerate said...

And what is wrong with having a dominatrix as a wife?

t-odd said...

What's wrong with being blind in one eye? Isn't that why "nature" (god) gave us two - one is a spare. There is even a passage somewhere in the Bible (God's book) that says if your eye is giving you trouble, pluck it out. Nature (god) was planning ahead.

Anonymous said...

just think, once this blindness thing settles in you'll not be able to see what the Agent Provocateur outfits look like on the rest of you faux new body. Wait, maybe we, your fans should have that fate.