Sunday, January 24, 2010

Lessons from the boobages

• First and foremost: drugs are your friend. Good drugs. None of that Alleve shit. You might as well be taking Pez if you decide to go the OTC route.

• Lugging drains around kinda makes it look like you’re sporting the shoplifter look. This almost makes me want to try shopping at the Wal-Mart down the street…..just think of all the hilarity that could potentially ensue??

• The stack of books I bought for post-recovery, not so useful given that my eyes burn after reading for a short while. Maybe I can just spend time looking at pretty pictures on the internets?

• Did I mention that drugs are your friend? And if you forget to take them, you’ll realize just how much this is true because suddenly you’ll be in a world of hurt? Just sayin’…..

• Though deciding to venture out while on said drugs is probably not a great idea, given the motion sickness that sets in after just 5 minutes in a car. Oops.

• The new boobages look mighty fine, stitches and swelling and all. Plus I like the word boobages – though that could be the drugs talking.

• Ow! Hurts! Must be time for more drugs....

• When you’re recuperating from surgery, shows like Grey’s Anatomy where they have one character whining about her fricking chicken pox like she just had a limb amputated without anesthesia – well, it’s pretty damn annoying. Just STFU already, and suck it up.

• Yes, I feel free to adjust the boobages in public – or at least the bandages wrapped around the boobages. You got a problem with that?

• Drugs, whee!

• Drain #3, aka The Slacker, will hopefully be coming out on Tuesday when I see the doc. It's not being very useful, which just goes to show you, there's a free rider in every group, letting others do all the work. There's never any escaping the need to downsize.

• Starbucks raised their prices AGAIN?? Given that my misto (which is just coffee with steamed milk) went up by 27 cents in September, it had better not have gone up again, or there will be problems. Big problems. Kona would be just as happy with part of a McDonald’s biscuit as he is with his petite scone, you know…..

• Speaking of The Kone, he’s having a grand ol’ time at his girlfriend’s place, so much so that he’ll probably hide when I eventually get to pick him up. Which might not be anytime soon, as I have this horrific vision of him being his usual exuberant self, getting a paw entangled with a tube from the drains…..quelle horror!

• Yay, time for more drugs, whee!


RP said...

K, maybe you need to slowly, yes that is right, slooowly put down the drugs for a bit girl. ;-) Naaah, what am I saying?? Love your blog posts while you are narc'd out.

MM said...

I think my doc told me, it takes a lot more drugs to kill the pain after you feel the pain. Just take the drugs as prescribed and you'll end up taking less over all. I don't always do what doctors say, but i did and I felt great.

BTW, did anyone tell you people will ask if you've lost weight? Or are you taller?

Anonymous said...

Tasha, I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying your drugs! And that your surgery went well.

Margaret said...


whatever you do, don't chase the pain - just keep taking the drugs & stay in happy-land ...

t-odd said...

Mmmmm - drugs. Enjoy the ride, sista. Enjoy the ride. Glad to hear you are loving (self-loving) your new boobies. I love to say "boobies."

One of the best times I ever barely remember having was going grocery shopping while whacked out on pain meds after my wisdom teeth. The deli was "fascinating."

Chris said...

That many drains calls for more drugs. Also, applause for drugged blogging!

Accelerate said...

Pfft forget about enjoying your drugs, it's a short lived thing. Enjoy the new Boobs! Pics or everyone will think your just a drug addict.

Missy said...

Me: I wanna get boobs like TASHA!!

mr man: Who is TASHA!!


JoJo said...

so happy to hear you're recovering, and the new appendages are looking spectacular. don't forget to stash a few extra pills for later - never know when that pain is going to hit again!!