Okay kids, are you getting tired of all this horrible yet inspiring Pinkishness? Because I am. It's like a Ronco commercial that has no end - just an endless series of "But wait, there's more!" coming at you from every direction.
So what we're going to do here is finish up the WTFs, then I'll post the couple of remaining Shames, then the Fames - and then the Grand Prizewinner will be revealed, in a post of its very own, because yes, it's that special. Interspersed in there I'll tell you who's won in each category.
I wish I could have more categories and give more of you the special Fuck Cancer hats, but alas, Miss Tasha is on the verge of losing the one bit of work that keeps her afloat and Kona in pig ears, so she ain't exactly flush with cash these days. Kind of the polar opposite.
But still, I've promised hats, and hats will be delivered. Onward! Our final Hall of WTF contestants:
1. Shimmies For The Cure
Apparently belly dancing has a cancer-curing component that most of us did NOT know about. I'm running out of things to say for these WTF entrants, because really.....WTF? Who thinks of this stuff?
2. The Support Bra/Corset, by PV
Okay, so I was going to say something about how this scary anime lady with light-socket frizzy hair is somehow connected to breast cancer awareness in a way that I don't understand, but when I was looking for more info on what exactly this was - and a better picture - I came upon this:
....and screamed slightly in horror. So I'm including it even though it's not strictly a Pinkishness item. It's just.....scary. Especially since at first glance her right boob looked all discombobulated and unfettered, and it was unclear where they were going with that. It's still unclear.
3. Cuddles For The Cure, by Adrienne
This is so bizarre that I'm going to just let little Cuddles - or Olivia, or whatever the hell her name is - speak for herself:
"This little angel is so sweet and precious, you'll want to hug her tight. And best of all, a portion of the proceeds from the sale of this breast cancer charity doll will benefit the fight against breast cancer! Now you can help spread breast cancer awareness with this So Truly Real® Tiny Miracles™ pink baby doll by Master Doll Artist Cheryl Hill. An Ashton-Drake exclusive, little Olivia is just 10 inches long and can sit in the palm of your hand! Dressed in a precious pink dress, white hat and symbolic pink looped ribbon, Olivia sends a heartfelt message of hope. This collectible pink baby doll is charmingly lifelike with RealTouch™ vinyl skin, feather-soft blond hair and tiny hand-painted features. Doll measures just 10" (25 cm.) long."
So you've got a freakishly small yet "charmingly lifelike" baby, which is supposed to.....what? Symbolize for your friend with BC all the babies she won't have because cancer treatment has rendered her infertile? In thinking about it, this should actually go in the Hall of Shame category, because that's pretty damn offensive, but I'll leave her here, because she's also so....freakish. Shudder.
4. Reindeer For The Cure
5. And not to be outdone......Pink Komen Ribbons on a Stick, by Arlyn
Okay, maybe they're garden stakes or something, since they were at Lowe's next to the hideous pink light-up reindeer, but in any case, would you want to decorate your garden with these things? I didn't think so.
6. Lint For The Cure. by Don Fernandez
Sigh. A lint roller. Really? LINT?
7. Stupid ad for Water For The Cure
Hee hee giggle. Now we've regressed to 1st grade.
8. The so-called Pink Ribbon Diet, by tigerchik
Thieves, pure and simple. Let's remember that two years ago I was proclaiming my adherence to the Pinkishness Diet Plan. And here these buffoons are, stealing my thunder. Looks like it's time to lawyer up. Cha-ching!
9. Another place for me to sue, by Don
Now that I have my world-renowned catchphrase F*ck the Ta-Tas on t-shirts for sale, I think that means I basically OWN that word, no? Yep, lawyering up again. Cha-CHING!
And our potential WTF winner:
10. Pears Care! by Cori
....because apples apparently don't give a rat's ass.
Yes, this may not strictly be the most WTF entrant, but it amuses me to no end, and it's my contest. Pears, caring! Who knew?
(to be continued)