Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A pilgrimage to Mecca

Okay, so I admit that I knew who the Grand Prize Winner of the Pinkapalooza contest would be way before the end of Pinktober. Sure, I was open to new entries, but unless someone came up with the vaunted, mythical Pink Chia Pet, Yeti-like in its absence, it was pretty much case closed as far as I was concerned. So I waited. And waited. And posted pictures of horrifying Pinkishness, for all to behold, keeping the ace in my sleeve, waiting for the right moment (i.e. the end of the month) to spring it on people.

Imagine my surprise then when I got a call from the purveyor of the GPW.

Don: Hey why don’t you and The Kone come out for Halloween? Maureen and I are having some relatives over, we’re making tamales, and I can take you out to see the GPW!

Of course he didn’t refer to it as the GPW, but that’s a literary device I’m using so as to build up the level of anticipation. It’s called “anticipational build-up,” for those of you wanting the technical term.

Of course I agreed instantly – not only would I get to see the GPW with my own eyes, but Kone and I would get out of the house and thus avoid the ragtag bunches of trick-or-treaters begging for sweets. Okay, I don’t actually mind them, but Kona gets a bit goofy and annoyed with the doorbell ringing constantly, yet no one coming in. And we all know that everything is about The Kone.

Sunday came, and off we went. I brought my homemade spinach dip and Hawaiian bread, as well as my famous homemade lemon cake from the Jewish deli in Skokie (this one’s my specialty), but as I was sitting there chit-chatting and Kona was playing with their dogs, I couldn’t help but feel a bit antsy. When would we go? Would it still be there in all its glory, as I had envisioned it? Would it, could it, possibly…..disappoint?? Oh, the agony!

Finally, as Maureen is heading out with the kids, Don says the magic words. Or starts to at least.

Don: So you wanna go check out th….

Me: YES! Umm, I mean, sure, I suppose, I guess we can do that…..if you really want to……

Don: Okay then, let’s…..hey, wait up!

What like it’s MY fault that some people are slower than others? Sheesh. I only made him run a tiny bit to catch up with the car. Good thing he did, too, since I had no idea where we were going.

So we’re in Alsip, and the GPW isn’t far away, but as I turn down one street after another, I’m more and more incredulous.

Me: Umm, why are we in this decrepit industrial park area?

Don: That’s where it is, wait and see!

Me: But…seriously? This is some dumpy riverside area that no one ever frequ….oh. My. GOD! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod…is that IT? Do you see it??? Oh my god!!!

It’s hard for me to convey how excited I am, but I’d put it on par with the thrill of the day when I got my driver’s license back after 8 long months. Yes, that level of excitement. I’m grinning, perhaps even laughing, a little maniacally to be honest. This is amazing.

I career the car over into the lot, rumbling over broken pavement that has weeds growing all through it, and jump out of the car, all the while muttering ohmygod over and over again.

Me: I….I…..

I’m speechless.

Me: It’s HERE? I can’t believe it, it’s worse than in your pictures! I mean look at this broken down abandoned industrial lot! This is awesome!!

I keep taking pictures, to capture the moment. The first glimpse.

Then closer.

And closer.

Finally, we’ve arrived! Yes folks, our Grand Prize Winner is……

The Dumpster For The Cure!

Because really, nothing says Breast Cancer Awareness like a shiny pink dumpster with perfect pink ribbons painted on it stuck in the far reaches of a decrepit lot in the middle of nowhere.

At this point I’m like a little kid, jumping up and down with glee. We take pictures. Here I am looking into the Dumpster, trying to find The Cure. Hello, Cure, where aaaaaaaaaaaare you??

And here's Don, proud of his accomplishment. "Yeah, I got your Cure right here..."

Finally, it’s getting chilly so I have to (sniffle) tear myself away from the Pink Dumpsters For The Cure. So sad – it’s like losing an old friend. We get back to Don’s house, and I can’t contain my excitement.

Maureen’s FIL: So did you see the trash??

Me: Oh my god, it was AMAZING! Everything I could have possibly dreamed of, yet better! Honestly, it was like going to Mecca!

They’re not looking at me TOO strangely, I don’t think, so either they too appreciate the wonders of a Pink Beribboned Dumpster in the Middle of Nowhere…..or they’ve been warned about me. I’ll go with the first option, thank you very much.

And with that, my friends, we bid farewell to another Pinktober. I need a drink now….


D said...

How trashy! heh heh heh

Beth said...

I LOVE IT!!!!! Dumpster for a cure...LMAO!!!!!!

cori said...

That is so classy there are no words. You looking in them dumpster for the cure is freaking hysterical! I hope you found it...

Angela and David said...

There used to be pink dumpsters out behind one of our dealers. I had no idea the dealer was sitting on such a prize! Not too far from Midway airport. I wonder if it's still there?

Sarah said...

oh man, that's just PRICELESS.

Karen said...

Bwahahahahah. I almost peed myself laughing.