Thursday, November 4, 2010

Pinkapalooza Time.....

Okay, okay, I know, it's already November 4th, and I have yet to post the Pinkapalooza Contest winners. Quite frankly, I've been a little overwhelmed with all the entrants - so much Pinkishness. So much crap. So much to offend.

But be that as it may, there are Fuck Cancer hats to distribute! I may have to come up with new categories so that I can give out more than just the one FC hat per grouping - but hey, it's my contest, I get to make the rules.

Anyway. I still have to go back and add some entries to the Hall of Fame category, but let's start out with some for the Hall of Shame - and again, this isn't complete, but I have to start somewhere.

So, without further ado: Hall of Shame entries in this year's Pinkapalooza Contest!

1. Cheese on sale, by Jen H-S

I know, you're thinking....cheese? How can cheese, of all things, be offensive? Well, the fact that this was sent in MID-OCTOBER, i.e. with Pinktober not even halfway through, and already they're putting the Cheese For The Cure on sale! WTH? That's like saying that those of us With Cancer aren't worth full-price. Like we're a mere fraction of a person.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

2. Pink alcohol For The Cure

Again, how many times do I have to repeat this simple fact: alcohol kills. Oh, I know that sounds all melodramatic and shit, but I'm actually serious about this, especially for those who already HAVE breast cancer. A mere 3 drinks a week raises your chance of a recurrence dramatically. So what the hell, are these companies trying to kill us here? I mean, I like a good mai tai as much as the next person, but i don't pretend that it's not really really bad for me. And I sure as hell don't try to make money off of it.

3. Again with the Boobies crap

Again folks - this is 2nd grade stuff here! Boobies indeed.

4. Cows For The Cure

Oops, sorry, we're not actually cows - this window just seems to be suggesting that. You know, that as women our only purpose in life is to churn out milk for the erstwhile offspring, that many young women with BC can no longer have, thanks to The Cancer and all.

5. Tinkled Pink??

Seriously, who comes up with this shit?? Oh wait, I know - it's everyone favorite corporate whor....umm, I mean, charitable organization, Komen. Of course! Let's let them describe this themselves, because quite frankly, I'm at a loss.

"Komen Race for the Cure potties are decorated by teams, groups of friends, school groups or anybody that wants to show the world they are Tinkled Pink to find a cure for breast cancer.

For only $50, you can decorate a port-a-potty to be on display in Vinoy Park on Race day! Display your individual name, business name, or organization on one of the 50 port-a-potties that are brought in for this event. A great gift for the person who has everything, a great way to advertise your business, or just shout out greetings for friends, family, even race opponents!"

Really, stinky Porta Potties For The Cure?Is there nothing that you Komen people won't do to add money to your coffers? Oh wait, don't answer that, because here we have this:

6. Yes, a Pink Porta-Potty For The Cure, by Karin Langer

We'll just let this one speak for itself.

7. Breast Cancer CDs - yes, you read that right

Let's hear the explanation for THIS little gem:

"When the double CD is open, it shows the place for two CDs, but one is missing (representing a breast lost to cancer) and another, painted in a color to represent the healthy one...."

Gee, thanks. There's a gaping black abyss to represent a woman who's lost her breast, in contrast with perky and happy over on the right. Am I the only one who sees this as a problem??

8. One-breasted mannequins

Okay, when I found this early on, I thought that this would be THE winner, because it's so damn offensive, especially when you read the explanation for it:

"This effective breast cancer awareness campaign....saw a one-breasted mannequin placed at lingerie and swimwear boutique, Bare Essentials. This is a very creative, high impact campaign in the fight against breast cancer.....(where) seeing a mannequin with one breast, which represents a post-mastectomy female, would hammer the message home that not having their breasts examined regularly can lead to tragic consequences."

Tragic? TRAGIC?? So now those of us with The Cancer are being held up as a dire warning of (cue scary music) what could happen to beware!

Who comes up with this shit? The women I know with BC are not "tragic" in any way - they wear their scars proudly, as I do, they're bold and fearless, and they have awesome fucking boobs. So fuck off, you one-breasted mannequin you, and go take your "tragic consequences" elsewhere.

Umm, okay, methinks maybe Miss Tasha should go enjoy one of those cancer-causing alcoholic beverages before she continues.

Plenty more to come though, kids! Needless to say, there are MANY entries for the Hall of WTF.....


RP said...

ooohhhh! I want pink porta potties at my next race. How very cool. :-)

I know...I'm strange, but whatever.

Anonymous said...

the pink porta potty is my fave :)