Friday, March 5, 2010

Tasha’s House of Stupid, open for business

To recap, I was recently in Boulder, CO for Jillian and Mark’s wedding, which was beautiful and perfect in every way, down to the co-mingling of beers (Busch and Miller as their family names) instead of that whole candle lighting thing. Seriously, this was perfect – just the kind of personal touch that every wedding should have.

In any case, there I was pre-ceremony, hanging out with Erin, Gregory, Bridget, Colleen, and Deanna, when naturally, talk turned to crazy cycling adventures and so on. Which I took as my cue.

Me, piping up: Hey, I have some exciting news!
Erin: What’s that?
Me: I’m going cycling in the Alps this summer, with my friend Stacey!

(flashback moment)

Stacey: You should come to Mallorca with me again in April! Please please, it’ll be great.
Me: Okay, first, I totally can’t afford that – I’m seriously broke. Plus, I need more surgery, which I’m having in April. So I won’t be close to any kind of cycling fitness at that point.
Stacey, finally: Oh, okay. (sigh) It’s too bad you can’t come out here in the summer...
Me: Hmm......


Me: Damn, I don’t think the summer thing is going to work. Every ticket to anywhere in Europe is a minimum of $1400. There’s no way I can afford anything even close to that.
Stacey: What about miles?
Me: Hmm.....


Me, after 5,000 emails back and forth: Okay, there appears to be exactly ONE ticket left using miles, to and from London, in August. Will that work? Should I get it?
Stacey: DO IT!!

This is how I wound up with a plan to go to the UK this summer – and why Stacey then started feverishly planning our itinerary.....

(back to Colorado)

Gregory: In the Alps? Where?
Me: Umm, I’m not sure exactly. We’re going with some outfit, I don’t really know what kind of climbs we’re doing – the only name I remember is something like Marmot.
Erin, with a look of horror on her face: La Marmotte?
Me: Yes, that’s it!

There is dead silence, and the look of horror has spread among all those assembled.

Me, adding: But I don’t think we’re doing that climb. I think this is a trip that people use to train for La Marmotte. Or something like that. I’m kind of fuzzy on the details. Alpe d’Huez is in there too.
Erin: Umm, I did Marmotte last year – that was the hardest climb I’ve ever done.

Let’s note here that while Erin doesn't quite have my own triathlon goddess stature, she has come very close to qualifying for Kona several times. And Gregory is originally from France, so they do a lot of cycling in the mountains. Oh yeah, and they now live in Boulder. So, more mountain climbing.

Me: Oh, I have plenty of time to train, I’m sure it’ll be fine! And Stacey did say that the riding she did in Colorado last summer was a lot harder.
Gregory: Umm......
Me: And that Mallorca was worse, so while I sucked at riding in Mallorca, if I have more time to toodle around the flat midwestern countryside here this summer, I’m sure I can manage.
Erin: Umm.....
Me: Though, Stacey did fib a little about our riding experience, since you’re supposed to have done some of the European sportives before. In the mountains. Plus, I only own a tri bike, so I need to figure out what I’m going to ride. Hey, are you all okay? Everyone’s looking a little pale........

So yes, in August of this year, I could very well be meeting my untimely demise on a mountain in the Alps, as I tumble over the side out of sheer exhaustion. As I said, the House of Stupid is now occupied, so feel free to pull up a chair – we could be here a while.....


t-odd said...

Get the best trip insurance you can. That's my only advice. Oh, and get one of those lambs wool fleece bike seat covers. (I just want to see how big of an ass you are willing to make of yourself.)

RP said...

You "are" accident prone that is for sure. :-)

This gives you NO excuse, repeat NO excuse not to throw the bike on the trainer right now and start getting that bod into shape. No more butter burgers for you my girl!