Tuesday, December 22, 2009

FBE digs in for the long haul

Another day, another date with FBE at the doctor’s office. As I was waiting to see Dr. Yang, it occurred to me that maybe I could kill two birds with one stone. Did I have the right forms with me? Yes! So I excused myself for a moment and went into the hallway to the next office over to drop off my pre-Rackotomy (scheduled for 1/18, for those who’d like to drop bon-bons off at the hospital) papers to my plastic surgeon’s office. How convenient is that?

Here, the most "interesting" reading seems to be Reader's Digest - no Macular Degeneration Musings or anything exciting like that, sad to say. I haven't seen a Reader's Digest in a while, so I had no idea that they had moved to this larger, magazine-size format, with the really big print. Interesting concept.

It only occurs to me about 15 minutes later that these are the special Reader's Digests, for (hello!) the eye doctor's office. Look, I never said I was all that quick on the draw, okay? Geez.

Soon enough, after more tests and more of my bumbling around Mr. Magoo-like, Dr. Yang says that there really isn’t anything wrong that he can see except for some kind of abnormality with my retina, but that’s all he knows. Hence, tomorrow I’m off to – yes – the retinal specialist! Which is apparently several hours of bumbling around, according to their information sheet. So if I wind up posting some complete nonsense tomorrow from the doctor’s office (“but Tasha, how will we be able to tell?”), don’t blame me, blame FBE. Whatever that means.

And then, when I get home what should I find but a package from....BCBS? Or at least that’s what the supposed return address says, though I doubt BCBS has spirited workers industriously addressing boxes by hand. And writing “do not open before X-mas (yeah right!)” on the side. But you never know – they’re certainly a crafty lot, and anything is possible. Thus, to be on the safe side, I have put the box in the farthest corner of the house, and as we speak, I am debating between putting it outside so that the cold kills the anthrax or whatever else might be in there, or perhaps just detonating the whole thing.

I warn you though, BCBS, you will not break me; I am of sturdy peasant stock, and we can soldier our way through pretty much anything. I’m not saying that “it’s just a flesh wound!” is our mantra, know what, that is what I’m saying. Bring. It. On. Wait, what was I talking about again? I get so caught up in my rantings against BCBS that sometimes, it all just blurs together. Kind of like.......FBE.

On a final note, how about a shout out to my reader from Libya! Umm........mazel tov??


Roadie in Vancouver said...

Aww, how nice, BCBS sent you sn Xmas present. Who said that miracles don't happen and that massive insurance companies don't have a heart. Or else, you racked up an enormous number of bills that had to be couriered to you in a big box.

Anonymous said...

What? Libya? Holy Crap you are the queen. :-)

the infertile breeder said...

Boobies, people. Fuckin' A.

t-odd said...

I like boobs.