Who knew it was so easy, I mean. Here, I’m just a week out from major surgery, and still have the usual million things to do around the house: clean, organize, cut the grass, garden, swim in my piles of cash, etc. I wasn’t sure how I’d get everything done, but then I hit upon the perfect solution to all my woes: Rent-a-Boy.com. And who do I have to thank for this brilliant idea? Why, none other than crazy anti-gay conservative minister George Rekers, who rented his escort, I mean cabana boy, I mean concierge, so that he could have some help after surgery.
Yes, in a stunning example of forward thinking, Rekers knew that he’d be unable to lift any luggage on his trip to Europe after surgery, and so he immediately went to a site apparently known for providing such kinds of assistance, the aforementioned rentaboy.com. According to Rekers:
‘I had surgery," Rekers told the newspaper, "and I can't lift luggage. That's why I hired him.’”
Of course, I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, or perhaps a bias of the liberal media, that the gay hooker he hired, "Lucien", claimed the minister liked daily nude body rubs. I’m positive that’s just related to the debilitating surgery he had. Positive. Pos. I. Tive.
In closing, I just have to say that this, this is the kind of bold, honest thinking those fervent anti-gay activists are known for. Kudos.