Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Behold, the frontrunners. So far.

Without further ado, here are our top whatever - not sure yet exactly how many top contenders there’ll be. Though suffice it to say, there are quite a few, so I envision buying Fuck Cancer hats in bulk. And the month is still young……

1. Mace For The Cure, submitted by Motya

Nothing says “hey, I’ve dealt with The Cancer, asshole, so if you think you’re getting my wallet with my Starbucks card and all my doctors’s business/appointment cards, you’ve got another fucking thing coming.” Though come to think of it, I might not even bother with the Mace – that’s too easy. I’d probably just go right for the jugular.

Or as Motya put it more simply: Who needs the RACE for the cure, when you have MACE for the cure?


2. Le Grand Trianon, submitted by Jen H-S.

Okay, so this is a building made for the French Royal family in way-back-when time, and not specifically for Pinktober – though who knows, they could have just been cutting edge back there in 1672, foreseeing the deluge of Pinkishness before anyone else did. I feel fine with claiming it as one of our own. All Hail the Pink!

3. Bumbles For The Cure, by Mark Mackenzie

These were spotted by Alert Reader Mark at some kind of balloon fiesta, and not only are they huge bumblebees, which I adore, but they’re wearing pink ribbons. Who knew that Bumbles were such fierce advocates For The Cure? I believe these are also the largest pink-ribbon-festooned entrants thus far.

4. Sextoys For The Cure, by Tracey.

Another one that kind of leaves me speechless, in their “Toys for TaTas” campaign, where $1 from every purchase goes to (who else) Komen. I guess Komen is just building on their success with the Jingle Jugs For The Cure that they proudly unveiled last year.

5. Medical Examination Gloves For The Cure, submitted by Arlyn

And what could make a proctology exam more festive if not Pink Gloves For The Cure? I really have no idea. I like these because not only are they actually For The Cure (note pink ribbons), but they’re also indicative of the kind of dedication and determination this little Pinkapalooza contest has inspired. Because these gloves were found in Alaska, by Carl, who went back to the examining room so that he could take a picture of them. Well done, Carl!

6. Clippers For The Cure, submitted by Faithful Lurker Angie.

Now, there’s no picture here, which is fine, so let’s let Angie explain – “in her own words” as the important newspeople say:

“I had to share 2 pink items I saw yesterday in a magazine at my hair salon. This was a magazine for hair professionals, not clients like me, and it had both razors (like they use to cut men's hair) and haircutting scissors for the cure (maybe "clippers for the cure")! Both with pink handles and emblazoned with pink ribbons.”

Pink razors and clippers?? Really? People, what are we doing here? If I were a guy going in for a basic cut and trim, I might wonder about the fact that my hair guy is pulling out a pair of pink clippers, that suddenly he’ll go a bit nuts with the fluffing and pouffing, and I’ll emerge looking like Tammy Faye Baker, sans makeup (one hopes). Probably not a look most guys are going for. I’m just sayin’.

7. Bad TV For The Cure

Another entry by Stalwart Reader Jen H-S, which goes to show you that if The Cancer doesn’t kill you, watching the Pink Ribbon Movie Channel just might. Though you could have your hubby or SO join you in The Fight, as she shows his solidarity by wearing…….

8. The G-String For Men For The Cure, submitted by Tammy K.

From those crazy kids over at Etsy. Who knows what they’ll come up with next? No, don’t answer that, I don’t want to know. I really really don’t want to know.

9. Rubber Ducky For The Cure, submitted by International Reader Bekkie

Yep, you heard it here first – my little blog has gone international! Okay, that’s been the case for a while - hello my faithful Pakistani and Bangladeshi readers! - but still, here we have an actual contest entrant celebrating the Pinkishness over in the U.K. Keep up the good work, Bekkie!

10. The PinkCornucopia, all submitted by Rachel

What can I say about such dedication to helping find A Cure? And especially towards helping me find something to eat during this damn month?? Rachel is definitely our rock$tar in this category, though Mark M. comes in as a close second, for finding a picture of what Chicken McNuggets look like before they’re conglomerated into their various pieces parts for the public. Yep, it’s all pink goop! PINK! Hence, on my list of things to eat for the month!

11. Pink Entrapment, submitted by T-Odd

Imagine. You’re stuck in a tin can 13,000 ft. up in the air, strategically trying to get armrest space and hoping your knees don’t get completely crushed by the seat in front of you, when suddenly, to add to the horror, you see THIS:

I’m not sure which part of this is most horrifying. The ill-fitting sleeves, where you have elbow flesh blurping out menacingly? The intensely ugly pink color? Or perhaps it’s the fact that they’ve made these poor women wear housecoats?? Which part of this did the powers-that-be at Delta think was a good idea?

12. Castings For The Cure, submitted by Miss Tasha

Yes, I’m entering my own damn contest – hey, I could always use another FC hat in a different color, okay? So there I was, surfing the googles, looking for more stuff For The Cure, when I came across this:

Now, I’m not too clear on what a “casting” is exactly, or what it might be used for, but I DO know that I won’t be ordering a truckload of them just so that I can get the large pink ribbon made out of castings. Or at least probably not.

13. Measuring Spoons For The Cure, submitted by Alert Reader Lieutenant Ilia

Or as I like to call them, the Spoons of Death. Because really, what could be more pleasant as you’re baking, say, sour cream muffins, than to be reminded of The Cancer at every turn? With those happy little pink ribbons emblazoned on EVERY spoon, to tell you that hey, do you really need that extra tablespoon of sugar on those muffins? Because you all know that your extra fat will KILL YOU, don’t you? At least according to every single BC expert out there, who never fails to mention – in a lecture or talk or symposium – that being overweight or fat will kill you faster than anything else, ladies, and oh, here are some measuring spoons for all that baking you’ll do just for other people, because if you actually eat anything you bake, well, you’re pretty much digging yourself into an early grave, now aren’t you?

So happy, those spoons.

14. Campbells Soup For The Cure, submitted by Dedicated Reader Randy

This one is worth it just for Randy’s comment: “I hate to admit it, but my EXACT first thought was: ‘Someone forgot to change the toner.’”

And last but not least!

15. The Chicken Angel For The Cure, also by Lieutenant Ilia

This was one of our first entrants, and I fully admit, I burst out laughing when I saw it. Because first I read the accompanying comment by LI: “I'm going straight to Hell for laughing at this one because the "angel" strongly resembles a chicken”

And then I realized that I’d be joining her in hell as well. Seriously, does this look like anything but a chicken to anyone? Bueller?

I’m sure I’ve forgotten some key entrants, but as I’ve noted before, the month is still young. Very..... very.....young…….


Robyn said...

Worm poos are called castings. And some worms are pinkish and they might get twisted around and kind of start to look like a ribbon. Those worms' poos could well turn out to hold the key to the cure.

Anonymous said...

F-cancer on hats, and now on shirts and stickers:

2010 ironman kona:

And more:


Angie said...

I'm so honored to be on the list and wish I had stolen the magazine so that I had the picture.

Here's another one...Notre Dame's head coach's wife is a BC survivor so the team and coach are decked out in pink for the month. With my poor computer skills I couldn't get the picture copied, but here's a link to the quarterback wearing a sweat towel and elbow pad for the cure. Enjoy!

Angie said...

Oops...the link doesn't take you right to the picture. It's the October 9 gallery of shots from the game.