And so it begins

Monday

Shit, I forgot today was a holiday! Obviously, since training is now my job, I’m not supposed to do anything today. Wouldn’t want to get injured or strain myself “off the clock,” so to speak. I’ll just go twiddle my thumbs and wait patiently for tomorrow to roll around. Stupid Presidents Day.

Tuesday


It’s too cold outside to go swimming, yet being a dedicated athlete, I head to the gym anyway, where I see Colleen getting ready to get in the pool.

Colleen: Aren’t you swimming?
Me: Oh, it’s too damn cold out – the very thought of getting into a pool, brr.
Colleen: But it’s about 82 degrees inside the gym.
Me, writing: I don’t understand what you mean – what does that have to do with anything?
Colleen: What are you writing down?
Me: I’m logging all of my training hours so that future Tasha wanna-be triathletes can follow my path to greatness.
Colleen: But you haven’t done anything yet.
Me, rolling eyes: Excuse me, but you’re forgetting the all-important travel time to the gym. Hello?!

Hmm, Colleen seems to be developing some sort of facial tic. Perhaps stress-related – getting a workout in once in a while will do her good. I’ll have to suggest that to her.

I head upstairs to do a bit of running and some weights. But first, some stretching and core work, something that I’m known to excel at among my peers. I’m not sure any of them will ever match my record of 14 seconds of balancing on the BOSU.

I watch my fellow gymrats use some of the weight equipment, and then hop on to do my own quick sets. This week I’m trying the “low weights lifted many times” approach; next week I’ll try the “superslow” methodology, where you rack up the weights to heart attack level and then lift them once, very slowly. I’m all about using these scientific methods to discern the best path towards stellar results, dear reader. Besides, I think the last time I was here I used some of the equipment backwards – trying to avoid that this time.

After doing 600 reps or so (quickly, on one machine), I decide to head down to the little lobby café for a cookie – all the treats they sell there are healthy, because otherwise they wouldn’t sell them, right? This is a gym, after all. Yum, chocolate-chip-butterscotch fudge cookies, very tasty. I mustn’t forget to log these all-important hours, as I sit around at the gym, absorbing the essence of fitness.

I then head home to have a well-deserved snack. Thanks to my uber-efficient 20-minute weight workout, my raging metabolism has kicked in, and my body is starving. Quickly, before my muscles can start cannibalizing themselves due to lack of fuel, I eat the perfect post-workout meal of pizza rolls and donuts. Hopefully that’ll get some much-needed carbs into my system quickly enough. I’m now going to go read my book “The Paleo Diet for Athletes” while tightening my abs – if that’s not a hardcore workout, then I just don’t know what is.

Total workout time for the day: 5:20

(Damn, almost there! Must try harder tomorrow.)