Monday, February 11, 2008

A crack in the ice appears

I hesitate now to post anything here about my own humdrum existence, while others are out scaling Mt. Kilamanjaro or making their way across Tibet in a rickety bus held together with chewing gum and a prayer. Oh wait, I’ve done the Tibet thing. Never mind. Still, even though it’s sad that my life has deteriorated into such menial hobbies as going to watch a Wolves game (foosball season is still two months away, darnit), that’s what I have to work with, dear reader, so off we go. Since I actually do PLAY hockey, does that cancel out the lameness of watching a game, i.e. watching someone else doing something? Or does that just mean that the yin/yang of it will cause my head to explode? The mind reels.


The Wolves played a great game, and I’m not just saying that because I was tanked on mai tais – I mean, my NUTRITIONAL INTAKE for the evening. (As an aside – is a hot dog a fruit?) No sirree. I love Wolves games because the people-watching is par excellence. The Rosemont Horizon is apparently built on some kind of hallowed Indian burial ground where the time-space continuum does not apply, so it’s permanently stuck in the 80s. Where else can you play Count the Mullets, and marvel over women who still feather their hair? It’s a beautiful thing.

My happy evening was somewhat dimmed by the fact that I hurt my neck/shoulder yesterday, which made movement a bit painful. How did I hurt my neck, you ask? Was it hockey? Hours of cycling? Swimming? No, no, nothing that pedestrian. I injured myself doing the unsuspectingly strenuous activity of…….reading the paper. Yes, there I am, innocently reading the paper, not realizing what Dangers Lurk Within, when out of nowhere, sharp pain in my neck and shoulder, radiating down towards my shoulder blade. Excellent. I’m glad I have my friends for support though – that means the world to me. Colleen: “Those paper-reading injuries are killers!” Laura: “I will take your warning to heart and use extra caution around the paper.” Smartassery abounds – I’ve taught them well.

And under the heading of Things I Have Learned Thus Far doing this bullcrap MC diet:

Apparently detoxing involves walking around with an ice pick in the head, because that’s what the headaches feel like. Workouts aren’t “fun.” The Mai Tais at the UC are way better than at the Rosemont. Though, lemonheads are advertised at the Rosemont, and I’m a big fan of lemonheads. Blueberries have about 1 calorie each.

That’s about it so far. Oh, and looking at the pizza picture below is making me hungry. Thanks Chuck.

Also, word to my chick posse – ma homeboys on the Fireballs (hi Joe! Richie! LJ!) have urged us to come back to the bar at Johnny’s to hang out after games. Where the ratio of Guys: Tasha is usually about 20:1, and I get props for being a badass. Not bad odds, even for me. Now, I’m not saying you all need to take up hockey, but perhaps hanging out at the rink wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Take advantage of the “halo effect” and all that. Brand equity. Bundling. Synergies. Porter’s Five Forces. Advanced game theory. All that fancy-schmancy MBA stuff I learned, finally put to good use at the rink. My professors would be proud.

Soon up: Run Gait Analysis, or, Whereupon Tasha Learns That She Runs Like a Manatee.

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