Madness takes its toll…

…please have exact change.

So the latest crinkle in my triathlon journey is something that I know will inspire hearty laughter/disbelief among the tens of you in ReaderLand. I hardly believe it myself, but at this point, I’m slowly being forced to accept the cold, harsh reality:

I seem to be allergic to exercise.

(long pause)

Now that the laughter has abated, I have to say that I’m actually serious, and this is more than a bit troubling. Okay, there’s Alcatraz, but how about the tiny fact that in September I’m doing, umm, IRONMAN WISCONSIN?????? As if it’s not bad enough that this year there’ll be a plague of locusts
(since I’m doing it, and I’m Schleprock), now I’m supposed to be able to sneeze and sniffle my way through 112 miles on the bike and a marathon? Without sucking in a stray locust or two?

Today at the gym I did an LT running test, meaning a hard but not-too-long workout. 45 minute run total. At minute 45, my nose starts tingling, then sniffling, then I feel a sneeze coming on. I start sneezing. Continuously. Go to the locker room, where I keep sneezing and go through about 45 tissues. This is all very familiar, because this is the 4th time this has happened in about the last month or so – the first time was after a hockey tournament, and the next 3 times were after running at the gym. So there’s no common denominator, i.e. it’s not always been at the gym, it’s not after every hard workout, and it’s not always after running. What is common is that I sniffle and sneeze for the next couple of days, in what I presume is a full-blown allergy attack. Not being allergic to anything else (of course! why be typical in anything, I always say!), I have no idea. In fact, when I went to Target today to get some medicine, I had to take a bundle of different boxes to the pharmacy counter and ask the woman there what she recommended. “Try the Redi-tabs, they work instantly!” So far, she is a liar.

And trying to look up information on “exercise allergies” got me nowhere, just a lot of links to exercise-induced asthma. Which this ain’t. Apparently I’m a party of one here. I just shake my head.

So not only do I normally live in the House of Stupid, but apparently I also have a summer home, Tasha’s House of the Absurd, where I’m currently residing. In case I haven’t mentioned this before? I. Am. So. Screwed.