Monday, February 11, 2008

I'm in love, I'm in love...

Background: In between periods at Blackhawks games, they pull people from the audience to play a shoot-the-puck-at-the-net style contest that is known to the hockey aficionados in the crowd as “the kid, the geek, and the bimbo.” Because they always get a kid who’s about 7-10 years old, a nerdy-looking guy in his 30s, and a trashy-looking large-chested blonde wearing clothes that are ridiculous at a hockey game. Hence the name.

(Conversation at Johnny’s IceHouse, where Tasha plays hockey, after the Friday night clinic and during the ensuing annual All-Star game, where they do a Johnny's version of the kid/geek/bimbo in between periods.)

Tasha at the bar, ranting, after having consumed half a beer: How come I wasn’t chosen to be the bimbo THIS year? What, I’m not good enough to be the bimbo? What is this madness?
Teammate Marty, thinking fast: I’m sure they thought of you – probably couldn’t find you in the crowd.
T: Right. What does a girl have to do around here to be picked as the bimbo, dammit?!
M: Well, last year it was Mel...
T: So I have to dress like a ho, act giggly, and convince guys to buy me drinks?
M: That would be nice.....I mean……no, not at all! Maybe trying pulling up your shirt at the bar to show off your tattoos, like Mel does?
T, glaring: You mean my non-existent tattoos? I bake brownies, isn’t that enough? And Coach Ken picks out the bimbo – well, this year he can have one of THEM bake his birthday cake. Grr. Maybe I need to start a letter-writing campaign of support. Marty, you’d write a letter for me, saying that I should be picked as the bimbo, right?
M, looking like a deer caught in headlights: Uhhhhhhhh.....
T: And for that matter, how come I’m not chosen to be in the All-Star game?? What’s up with that? Sure I play in the C tier and these are all the Elite guys, but what the hell, I could keep up with them. Piece of cake.
M, stricken mute out of sheer terror at saying the wrong thing: ............
Random cute guy at the bar also in the clinic: Obviously they were worried that your many fans would pack the stands and bar and it would just get WAY too crowded and crazy in here.
T, suddenly beaming: Ah, that is SO true. See, someone gets it! Finally!
RCG: It’s totally obvious to anyone.
T, gazing at RCG with little hearts in her eyes like one sees in cartoons : Now YOU are a smart man......say, are you looking for a team for the summer........?

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